It's all MY fault!

It's all my fault.  It is.  It's MY fault that you are so stressed.  I mean, I am the one who said you need to make good grades (I did not say all A's by the way).  It's my fault that I make you ask before you go anywhere.  It's my fault that I limit the time spent away from home, make you do chores and clean your room.  It's my fault I make you speak respectfully to me, your dad and your siblings.  You are right.  I will take the blame on this one.

I doubt I am the only parent who has heard similar accusations.  And...I doubt there is any "fault" in what I just described.  Parenting is hard.  There is no one specific recipe that will yield the desired results and the variables that arise are endless.  I will say that I love being a mother.  I feel honored and so very blessed.  I have enjoyed my children at every age but at every age there have been challenges and obstacles that have presented learning opportunities for all!  I don't like to think about Jackson going to college in a year.  I want to think of him as that brilliant three year old that loved me unconditionally and needed me.  But...he isn't three...and he doesn't need me the same way he did when he was three. 

 I love you Jackson! 

I remember when they were little and I couldn't bear to go to work and leave them.  I thought, "How sad!  A mother should NEVER have to work and leave her kids!", when in all reality they never knew I was gone.  Now I look back and realize that the older they get, the more they need me in their life.  Now this may change as they "leave the nest" but I still feel that my kids need me to butt in and give them reason to say "it's your fault."  Now of course I don't want to stress out my kids.  I want them to be happy.  I want them to be successful and I want them to grow into responsible, productive, mature and respectful adults who love and trust the Lord.  I remember being 17...and I was not any of those things at 17 (brrr...I shudder to think of those days sometimes...sorry Mom :]).  

I once thought that I wanted my kids to have all those things I never had as a child.  That was a MISTAKE!  Giving my kids a lot of those things produced self-centered thinking, greediness and a sense of entitlement.   I could ask around and get an array of suggestions and opinions, but I'm not (not this time anyway).  I'm going to trust God on this one.  I still make mistakes, and I FEEL like a terrible parent at times (and sometimes I really AM a terrible parent!).  I am learning each step of the way.  I'm sure at some point I will be able to sit back and reflect and offer a bit of wisdom to some young unknowing parents who are about to make the same mistakes, but until then I think I will take the route of humility and follow direction from the only one who REALLY knows what's going on!

Please know, I think I have great kids and I love them dearly.  Being a teenager is hard.  I remember it all too well.  If I had the chance I wouldn't go back...not for a minute.  

Philippians 2:14-16New International Version (NIV)

14 Do everything without grumbling or arguing, 15 so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.”[a] Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky 16 as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain.

Proverbs 22:6New International Version (NIV)

6 

Start children off on the way they should go,

    and even when they are old they will not turn from it.

Ephesians 6:4New International Version (NIV)

4 Fathers,[a] do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.