It's all MY fault!

It's all my fault.  It is.  It's MY fault that you are so stressed.  I mean, I am the one who said you need to make good grades (I did not say all A's by the way).  It's my fault that I make you ask before you go anywhere.  It's my fault that I limit the time spent away from home, make you do chores and clean your room.  It's my fault I make you speak respectfully to me, your dad and your siblings.  You are right.  I will take the blame on this one.

I doubt I am the only parent who has heard similar accusations.  And...I doubt there is any "fault" in what I just described.  Parenting is hard.  There is no one specific recipe that will yield the desired results and the variables that arise are endless.  I will say that I love being a mother.  I feel honored and so very blessed.  I have enjoyed my children at every age but at every age there have been challenges and obstacles that have presented learning opportunities for all!  I don't like to think about Jackson going to college in a year.  I want to think of him as that brilliant three year old that loved me unconditionally and needed me.  But...he isn't three...and he doesn't need me the same way he did when he was three. 

 I love you Jackson! 

I remember when they were little and I couldn't bear to go to work and leave them.  I thought, "How sad!  A mother should NEVER have to work and leave her kids!", when in all reality they never knew I was gone.  Now I look back and realize that the older they get, the more they need me in their life.  Now this may change as they "leave the nest" but I still feel that my kids need me to butt in and give them reason to say "it's your fault."  Now of course I don't want to stress out my kids.  I want them to be happy.  I want them to be successful and I want them to grow into responsible, productive, mature and respectful adults who love and trust the Lord.  I remember being 17...and I was not any of those things at 17 (brrr...I shudder to think of those days sometimes...sorry Mom :]).  

I once thought that I wanted my kids to have all those things I never had as a child.  That was a MISTAKE!  Giving my kids a lot of those things produced self-centered thinking, greediness and a sense of entitlement.   I could ask around and get an array of suggestions and opinions, but I'm not (not this time anyway).  I'm going to trust God on this one.  I still make mistakes, and I FEEL like a terrible parent at times (and sometimes I really AM a terrible parent!).  I am learning each step of the way.  I'm sure at some point I will be able to sit back and reflect and offer a bit of wisdom to some young unknowing parents who are about to make the same mistakes, but until then I think I will take the route of humility and follow direction from the only one who REALLY knows what's going on!

Please know, I think I have great kids and I love them dearly.  Being a teenager is hard.  I remember it all too well.  If I had the chance I wouldn't go back...not for a minute.  

Philippians 2:14-16New International Version (NIV)

14 Do everything without grumbling or arguing, 15 so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.”[a] Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky 16 as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain.

Proverbs 22:6New International Version (NIV)

6 

Start children off on the way they should go,

    and even when they are old they will not turn from it.

Ephesians 6:4New International Version (NIV)

4 Fathers,[a] do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

I am not a SNOB! ;

Praise!  I'm going back to work on the helicopter tomorrow! 

So today I had coffee with a great new friend.  She decided to share with me what she thought about me when she first met me.  She said she thought I was a SNOB!  I could NOT believe it.  Anyone who truly knows me, knows that this is not me.  I LOVE to talk and get to know people but I do have a problem...I don't feel comfortable talking to people I don't really know.  I am that person who loves to talk and share once I know I am welcomed into the conversation.  I am often so afraid of offending someone and making the first move into introductions.  This is a weakness, I know, but I never quite realized that it could be offensive or give off a first impression of snobbishness!  We laughed and of course I was not offended.  I am intrigued to know how I come across even when it's a shocking revelation.  I will certainly work on that although I have to say I am also working on "not caring" what other's think of me as this has also been a stronghold (that can be in another post).

I have attended Hebron since I was 10 years old.  That's a LONG time!  I have sang in the choir ever since I can remember.  I grew up at Hebron and sang my first solo when I was 14 or 15 years old.  I was terrified.  I have battled stage fright most of my life.  I have forgotten words more times than I can remember and if there is one thing on stage I am worried about...it's usually that.  Each time I sing I focus on why I am there.  It's not about me.  Simple as that.  Although of course I would like for it to be perfect and I always work to do my best.  It's really OK if I do mess up (and I do mess up quite a bit...shhhhh...don't tell anybody!).  I bring up singing because my dear friend mentioned that "because you sing on stage at church" as one of the things that made her think of me as a snob.  I have often worried about the impression I give at church after singing.  A lot of people see me and think they know me.  Perhaps that is why I seemed snobby.  I never want to seem unapproachable...and I promise...I'm not!  I'm just plain Jane simple Sherri.



In our conversation today, I shared that I have started doing something when I prematurely judge (as if I should do it at all) someone based on my first impression.  We never know what that person is really like.  They may have acted in a way that doesn't settle well with us, or maybe they were distracted and didn't notice us in the way we felt we should have been noticed.  I have certainly been distracted over one or more things in  my lifetime.  I have practiced this more in traffic.  In order to survive Atlanta traffic I have tried to imagine what the life of that person who "ticked me off" is like. Maybe their spouse just left them, maybe they are headed to the hospital to see a loved one who is dying, maybe they are late for a job interview after being jobless for months, maybe they are suffering from depression, maybe they just lost a child, maybe they have been abused or hurt in another unimaginable way.  I could go on and on.  

So just a suggestion and a challenge to whomever reads this...try it.  You won't believe how quickly your first impression can change.  I will work on my awareness of people around me, especially in groups of people I'm often around and really should reach out to.  I am hoping this is something you will try too.  I am so far from perfect and I have no right to judge others...and it doesn't feel good to be judged either.  

John 7:24New International Version (NIV)

 "Stop judging by mere appearances, but instead judge correctly.”

Matthew 7 New International Version (NIV)

7 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Cat pee! AGHHHHH!

After I arrived home Jack informed me that Noir, our family indoor/outdoor kitty peed on the leather recliner in the den.  Noir is MY cat even though Jadon also claims her as his.  I LOVE my cat.  I never thought I would say that but...I do.  I rescued her from the pound several years ago.  She is a very loving cat...not like some of the antisocial ones I've encountered in the past.

Noir does not use a litter box.  She prefers to go outside.  We leave the garage door up just enough for her to go out as she needs to.  She has a litter box but never uses it.  I can't remember the last time we've bought litter.  

A few weeks back she hopped up onto my bed and before I could even realize what she was doing, she peed on my bed!  This was when I was hurting a great deal, so getting up in a hurry was quite difficult.  I suspected then that something was wrong...and now I see that I should have taken her to the vet.  So after hearing this news I immediately suspect she has a UTI...and I'm really hoping this is what it is since it can be treated.  She did it again today...and Oh...MY...Goodness...I cannot handle the smell.  I have cleaned and cleaned the recliner and the hardwood floor.  Apparently she has been frequenting this spot because there was a LOT on the floor.  I have super sonic smell so this really isn't working out for me.  I am praying very hard there is a simple solution because I have put Noir outside for the night and I am very sad (and so is she).  We will be seeing the vet tomorrow.  If you have any suggestions please let me know!  I have read all the suggestions when a cat is avoiding their litter box but she never has used one anyway so those don't really help.  

Home at last! ~and~ tips for Mom's of boys :)

Finally home sweet home!  I am so happy I was able to reunite with my family tonight.   

Before I left, I wrote each child a note to be delivered each morning.  They would either open it prior to leaving for school or Jack was to put it in their lunch.  I decided to incorporate a gift that a sweet lady at my church gave me years ago.  It's called a "Blessing Box."  I'm embarrassed to say I don't even know the person's name that gave it to me.  She just walked up and handed it to me and told me she wanted me to have it.  It really is the neatest idea.  It is filled with verses.  Some are in tiny scrolls while others are pasted onto foam shapes with various pictures or designs on them.  I decided that instead of keeping all of these blessings to myself, I would give one to each of the kids each day.  The kids were so excited to get their letters each day.  I know the girls were much more excited than the boys (or maybe they just show their excitement better) but it was still a fun way to give a "blessing" from the Lord and a word of encouragement from me as well.  

Today in class, the instructor briefly mentioned the stress that parents often experience with potty training.  I remember those days and I do NOT want to relive them.  The stress that Jack and I have experienced as parents is probably like the stress most families with 4 children face.  We were (are) constantly faced with logistical dilemmas, accusations of favoritism, fatigue and heaven forbid the fear of forgetting one of them somewhere!  We have always been fairly laid back as far as letting our children roam and experience things (in other words we probably drove others crazy with our seemingly lack of over-protection).  This has not always gone well and we have lots of humorous stories to remember to tell our grandchildren about.  Jack started keeping "the book" years ago.  Anytime anything funny or memorable happens with one of the kids, he says "that goes into the BOOK!" and he writes it down.   I'm so glad he does this because I do not ever want to forget the funny and sweet things our kids do that make us smile. 

I have learned a lot of lessons the hard way in parenting and some I have learned from other's mistakes.  I thought perhaps I could share some of my learned experiences to hopefully prevent these mistakes from being repeated (and hopefully preventing injury!) So here are a few things to consider:

1.  Don't let your kids know you heat the bathroom up in the winter with the hairdryer (if your bathroom is that big, perhaps you should buy a space heater).
2.  Don't let bullets accidentally fall to the floor when you empty your pockets after shooting at the     range.
3.  Don't leave young boy child alone in the bathroom with a hairdryer heating up the room.
4.  Don't let young boy child venture into your closet to find bullet on the floor.
5.  Don't think that the young boy won't try to see what will happen if he heats the bullet he found on the floor with the hairdryer.
6.  DO know that bullets WILL explode when heated up with the hair dryer.
7.  Don't call your spouse while they are at work to find out how to treat a toe that was slightly injured by a bullet the young boy exploded with the hair dryer.

8.  DO have a conversation with young boy child...and if he responds with "I will NEVER play with a hairdryer again," know he has completely missed the point and you may need to start over. 
9.  DO pray over your children and ask for wisdom...because sometimes it escapes our brains.  Also ask for protection because kids will do the craziest things even if you think they wouldn't.

Disclaimer: There is no admission of this happening to anyone in our family.  

Psalm 4:8New International Version (NIV)

8 

In peace I will lie down and sleep,

    for you alone, Lord,

    make me dwell in safety.

Proverbs 22:6The Message (MSG)

6 

Point your kids in the right direction—

    when they’re old they won’t be lost.

iMessage to spy on your kids :)

Tonight I was trying to get myself organized when iMessage popped up on my laptop.  You see, with four kids all having smart phones, I feel it is important to monitor their texting and such.  In the past I have randomly checked their phones and I have to admit I've been disappointed at times.  I know I cannot see everything they are doing but this is a great way to spy on your kids.  They know I check regularly so I'm not sure why it continues to be a great way of "busting" them.  It isn't a big deal but when I noticed it was past bedtime and one of them was texting, I decided to send my own text and ask what they were doing.  The child answered "nothing."  I gave several chances to clarify and finally received a flat out LIE.  How disappointing.  My response was this... "So, you know when you lie to your mom, she takes a screen shot of your text messages and posts them to Facebook."  This finally got an honest response...sort of.  My children forget that I have super powers and ways to find out things. 

Today it rained just as I was leaving class.  Although I had an umbrella, my backpack got soaked as did my cell phone.  It appeared to be working until I realized I couldn't hear.  After playing around with it and using the hair dryer to dry it out, it still wouldn't work!  So, I did my "research" and google suggested to gently insert a q-tip in the headphone jack.  I didn't think this would work because I wasn't able to hear from the speaker at the top which was not located near the headphone jack.  I did it anyway...and it WORKED!  When I called home to tell Jack that I had fixed it, he of course understood exactly why it worked.  Something about a short or contact or some other weird intelligent concept I care to know nothing about.  Anyway...if this happens to any of you...give it a try!  It may just work!

I can't wait to go home tomorrow!  I miss my family.  I am so excited to go to physical therapy again and then hopefully get cleared from my doctor to go back to work!  I still feel great!  I think I'm getting stronger everyday and praise the Lord I feel more and more like myself!  

I have decided to add a countdown to graduation on the blog to give myself a reminder to breathe and take one day at a time. 

Matthew 6:34The Message (MSG)

34 “Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

Long distance parenting at it's finest...

Today was a MUCH better day!  My plate is definitely going to be full these next 12 months!  I took the shuttle to the School of Nursing this morning...a much more enjoyable journey ;).  I met two ladies on the shuttle who were leaving our hotel to go visit the VA Hospital at Vanderbilt.  We talked about the weather and how awful the humidity is.  One lady said that this humidity is nothing compared to Oklahoma...WHAT?  Seriously?  No way!  I explained how difficult my trek was yesterday in the heat and humidity and laughed (but only a little).  Before the ride ended, I learned they are both here alone, living in a hotel, while their husbands are patients in the VA Hospital.  One had been here for weeks and her husband almost died waiting on a liver transplant.  Miraculously, he got one!  The other is preparing for a bone marrow transplant on Friday.  I can't imagine what kind of stress and worry they are feeling.  I again, felt horribly embarrassed to even mention my "bump in the road" experiences from the day before.  Perspective :/.  Praying for both of them and their husbands tonight.

My new ride!

Tonight I was able to do something really cool!  I have to say I am loving technology!  10 years ago there would have been no way for me to do this.  First, I Face-timed my kids.

I love being able to see them and of course check their rooms to make sure they are clean ;).  Ivy was sad I wasn't there to help her pick out an outfit for picture day tomorrow.  I told her to pick one out and send me a pic.  Good thing she did because it REALLY needed ironing lol!

I felt sad when Jadon asked me to tell him a bedtime story tonight when I realized...I CAN!  So I quickly googled one of my favorites from when they were little "The Poky Little Puppy."  He fell asleep while I was reading and I got to watch my baby (ok maybe he is 10 but he's still MY baby) fall asleep.  Talk about precious.  Again, I AM BLESSED!  Savoring every moment I can...

Psalm 127:3-5The Message (MSG)

3-5 

Don’t you see that children are God’s best gift,

  the fruit of the womb his generous legacy?

Like a warrior’s fistful of arrows

    are the children of a vigorous youth.

Oh, how blessed are you parents,

    with your quivers full of children!

Your enemies don’t stand a chance against you;

    you’ll sweep them right off your doorstep.

Plans are great intentions that are sometimes certain to fall apart...

I have been off the helicopter for weeks now and finally have started physical therapy and feel GREAT!  I am so excited that I may be returning to work soon and regain my "normal" back.  I was so afraid that my injury would keep me from attending Vanderbilt.  Orientation was set for today.  I had made very detailed and fool-proof plans.  I suppose that is why it all started to fell apart about...oh 10pm last night!

I was thrilled to know that I could fly to Nashville out of Athens with a small airline called Seaport Airlines.  For $109 I could have round trip tickets and not have to drive 4 hours each way to Nashville for my block sessions over the next 12 months.  I booked the tickets, arranged and paid for shuttle transportation from the airport, reserved hotel reservations that are within walking distance from the school and had everything planned just perfect.  I was so excited!  I had packed and just gotten into bed last night when my cell phone rang and showed a TN number.  I answered to have Seaport Airlines notify me my flight had been canceled!  Ugh!  Knowing I had to be on campus at 8am, I decided to go ahead and drive to Nashville so that I could avoid morning traffic and get some sleep before my big day.  I drove the 4 hours and it was uneventful except for the extreme fatigue I fought the entire way.  I didn't sleep though, so my $200 hotel room felt like a waste of money!  I awoke and took a shuttle to the school, checked in and my journey of becoming a Pediatric Acute Care Nurse Practitioner began!

After tossing and turning all night I was very excited to get my morning coffee in.  For those of you who know me well, I do very few things prior to having my Starbucks.  I did not even venture to find a Starbucks because I knew Vanderbilt was catering breakfast and would have coffee.  I poured myself a cup and sat down with some ladies to have breakfast.  I wanted to run and hide because I couldn't articulate the first intelligible sentence.  How embarrassing!  I couldn't remember my program name, my hotel that I had stayed...I honestly felt like I was having a stroke.  COFFEE!  It was because I didn't have my Starbucks!  I decided to remain quiet and try to blend in or disappear.  For most of the day I kept to myself just wanting the day to end!

After a very long tiring day, I decided to park my car in a parking garage that was free (to avoid paying the $15/day parking fee at the hotel).  I had crammed all of my things in a backpack and a small rolling suitcase.  I called for the shuttle but the driver informed me that I was "just across the street" from the hotel I was to check in to, and he would be at least 30 minutes.  I didn't mind walking...besides I was supposed to get some walking in as part of my physical therapy home regime.  I started my journey with Siri leading the way only to realize that my cell phone battery was about dead...as in 3% about dead.  I decided I could certainly remember the directions since it was "just across the street."  Not to my surprise, my cell phone died just as I realized my hotel was about a mile away.  As I was walking my rolling suitcase handle broke.  I was constantly having to stop and reattach the handles.  Wiping the sweat from my face in the 97 degree, 100% humidity, I felt certain I was on candid camera.  Trying to keep the handle from falling apart on my journey, I decided to push the suitcase instead of pull it.  I looked ridiculous as it wobbled out of control running over my toes (in my new shoes) while I was trying to cross at a major intersection.  Did I mention I was also toting a backpack?  My jacket was tied to the rolling suitcase and of course at the most perfect time, the sleeves had to get caught up in the wheels.  I mean, why would this NOT happen to me at this point?

So I arrive to the hotel and I know I looked like the most frazzled freaked out person around.  The girl at the desk kindly checked me in.  I described my last 24 hours before I realized she probably truly had no real interest in hearing about it (she asked me how I was!!!  Who am I not to tell her the truth!???).  I carted my broken suitcase, blistered toes, dirty sleeved jacket, sweaty self up to my room.  I took a shower and went downstairs to enjoy a rather lovely "free" meal.  I returned to my room to call the family and see about their day.  While on the phone with Ivy I heard a knock at the door.  The sweet girl at the front desk who checked me in brought me a gift bag!  Her name is Marybeth.  She brought me some sweet treats and a note to lift my spirits and give encouragement.  Wow!  Now that is what I call excellent customer service!

I immediately felt embarrassed and ashamed for sharing and blurting out my version of a terrible day.  I know I didn't have the worst day in the world...there are certainly worse things that could have happened today.  I am blessed.  I know this.  I am simply exhausted and in need of sleep.  I am thankful for this opportunity.

I am only sharing because it is a memory that I hope to laugh at one day...(I said one day...not today).  My first day at Vanderbilt...  One I will never forget!  Nothing like being humbled and receiving confirmation that my life is and will continue to be adventurous even as much as I try to keep it simple, organized and sane!

So tonight, as I am fading fast, I am reminded that it's a good thing that I am NOT in control.  What a mess I would make of everything.  HE has overcome the world! ~John 16:33

John 16:33 "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

Life in the Moody house

So I remembered this blog I started and failed miserably trying to keep up with 4 years ago.  I thought I would give it another try.  I mean, why not?  My life is about to become completely turned upside down.

So to update everyone, Jackson is 17, Avery 16,  Ivy 11 and Jadon just turned 10.  Wait, is that right? Maybe Ivy is 12.  No...no...her birthday is in November and she is 11 still.  Honestly...I can't keep up. Jackson is a senior, Avery a junior, Ivy 6th and Jadon 5th.  Now that I know is correct.

Jack works at Archer High School as a School Resource Officer.  That is where the kids go.  We love the Archer cluster.  I hate that Ivy is so far away but it is what it is.  We are blessed.

I work as a transport nurse both on flight and ground at Children's Healthcare of Atlanta.  I just dropped to part-time so I can attend Grad school at Vanderbilt.  I start tomorrow!  YIKES!  I am hoping to graduate in August 2015 and will be a Pediatric Nurse Practitioner.

Jackson wants to be a doctor.  Lord.  Help.  Us.  All.  (Kidding...he will be a great doctor!)
Avery loves acting and has JUST (as in yesterday) signed up to take voice lessons from a dear friend who is absolutely AMAZING!  I am beyond excited as she has avoided singing like the plague due to my, ahem, strict OCD vocal nature.  Ivy has been playing softball and Jadon is starting baseball with Hebron, our church.  Love that they offer this for the kids!  A Christian atmosphere makes all the difference sometimes.

So let me tell you about my weekend.  Jadon just turned 10 on August 9th.  He has been begging for a birthday party.  Years ago I was allll about the parties.  I would give every child a party and have tons of people over.  It was exhausting but so much fun.  Well things have changed.  I no longer enjoy the planning and making everything just perfect for their big day.  I cringe when they ask to have friends over...much less host a party.  Do you want to know why?  Because I have lost the battle of maintaining a spotless home.  I LOVE a clean organized home...but....I give up.  It is constantly a mess.  The kids vomit their stuff in every single room and let me just be honest...Jack and I aren't any better. I have a messy bedroom.  I hate it.  I have my crap stacked up.  I have no time to organize the way I prefer to and I need a live-in maid to follow us all around.  Despite my OCD and desire to have perfection and my home to be show quality at all times...I just can't do it.  So...needless to say, the party would require a clean home so I would not suffer the embarrassment of living in a dump.  Jack insisted the yard needed to be cut (it didn't) and spent 6 or more hours outside, presumably avoiding being inside with me.  You see I was on a mission to have everyone fulfill their role in cleaning this house.  Each child was responsible for getting it done.  I cleaned my room and bathroom, they did everything else...well...sorta.  I of course had to go behind them and give more orders or do it myself to get the desired results.

By time Jack came inside I was a raving lunatic.  I already had two kids in tears.  My head was spinning around and smoke was coming out of my ears.  Why does no one have this deep longing to have a clean home like I do???  Why is this a constant ongoing issue???  The boys were dropped off and we were taking them to jump at Skyzone for an hour.  The entire drive they were making farting noises and talked nonstop.  They were louder than any 6 girls I have ever been around!  I had never been inside Skyzone so this was a new experience.  I would have preferred a nice quiet lounge to rest in while they jumped but I wanted to "share" in their experience.  I practiced deep breathing and smiled a lot to make sure no one saw I was about to jump out of my skin.  On the way back to the house, they watched a movie so it was more bearable.  When we arrived, our family was waiting on us.  We were going to have a party and let the kids swim.  Jadon opened his gifts.  Then...the drama began.

Did you know that boys create drama just like girls?  I hate it.  I just don't understand why everyone can't just play and get along!  Jadon was of course in rare form and he was showing out.  This did not help the situation.  He had to apologize to a couple of the boys and was not very sincere.  I thought I was going to end the party and send everyone home.  I was so mad, I told him he was going to have to return the gifts because he wasn't a very good friend.  Maybe it was just me because I have recently become insane...but I was ready to cry.  The boys left and I went immediately upstairs and crashed...and ...I am so proud to say that I did not cry.  I simply did not have the energy.

So today, I awoke with a raging headache and my "what happens when you get stressed out" lupus malar rash.  I stayed home from church and prepared for my week ahead.  I am leaving tomorrow for Nashville to attend orientation.  I'm excited...and I'm terrified at the same time.  I am hoping this time will be good for me to get away from my family...don't take that the wrong way...I love them...I just need a break.  I know I will miss them terribly though.  I am praying they are protected and they are good for Jack and Granny.  Maybe when I get back home I will not be as insane ;)

All this to say, I love my family.  I hope I come back renewed and ready to be a less-than-insane Mom.  Right now, Jadon and Ivy are sitting on the stairs for calling each other names.  They continue to argue.  They may still be sitting there when I leave in the morning because they are contributing to my insanity.